the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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