i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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