is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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