i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My balls are so social today.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
