Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
