Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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