he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just gargled with NyQuil
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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