Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
