I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
