"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
