you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
