Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
