I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
