There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
