Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's never too late to be topless.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
