were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
