Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
