Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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