Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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