How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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