If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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