my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
