i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
