You can't motorboat a personality
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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