Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
