i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
