Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
