Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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