someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
