She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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