you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
