K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
