Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
