Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
