you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
