Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
