And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
