I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
