Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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