Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
