we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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