How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
