he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
