so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
