i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
