I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
