Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I bet he comes in French.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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