so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
