we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I want a musical about memes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
