A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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