Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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